The Hangover: Sherlock Edition
by ForeverSmiling
Summary: If you have seen The Hangover, this is that movie except with the characters of Sherlock!  Warnings inside.  No slash whatsoever.
1. Prologue

**I do not own The Hangover or Sherlock.**

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><p><span>The Hangover: Sherlock Edition<span>

It was 7:00am and the four guys were in the desert. None of them knew how the party got out of hand. They just wanted to take John out before his wedding day.

Maybe going to Las Vegas from London was not the best idea, but they didn't realize how bad things would get, and now their friend is missing.

Sherlock separates from the group, picks up his phone and dials Sarah's number. The phone barely has time to ring before a frantic Sarah answers the phone.

"Hello?" Sarah answers. Sherlock coughs before responding.

"Sarah, it's Sherlock" The consulting detective would never admit it, but he was scared. His head hurt too much to even function properly.

"Sherlock, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out!" He hears Sarah breathing deeply on the other end of the phone. It is obvious that she had been crying.

"Listen, um, we really screwed up."

"What are you going on about?" The sadness in her voice evolved into fear and anger.

"The party, the whole night, it got out of control and…we lost John." Tears start mildly forming in Sherlock's eyes, but he quickly wiped them away.

"_What?_" Sarah's voice was that of disbelief, Sherlock could tell that she was dealing with several different emotions at once.

"We can't find John."

"What are you saying, Sherlock? We're getting married tomorrow!" Sherlock sighed deeply before answering her.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." Sherlock turns to see the rest of the group and turns back around, in defeat.

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><p><strong>Yes, I am going to attempt to put the characters of Sherlock in The Hangover! I am going to try my best to work around the whole 'London to Vegas' thing.<br>**

**I am willing to accept ideas on what you would like to see. Warnings:**

**-They will mostly be very out of character. I am gong to try and keep Sherlock and Mycroft as close to character as I can.**

**-I will not be swearing that much.  
><strong>

**On a side note, I would like to give all credit to this idea to PuckleberryExpress who is currently working on the Glee edition of The Hangover. Thank you very much for allowing to me adapt Sherlock and The Hangover together. Please go and read her stories, they are very good. :)  
><strong>


	2. Eleven Hours

_2 days earlier_

"Sherlock, is this really necessary?" John sighed as he finished packing his last suitcase. He looked at Sherlock, who was waiting by the door of 221B Baker Street with his own suitcases near him.

"Absolutely John, you are getting married in four days and I insist that you have the best vacation and party." He said with a smile. He walked over to the window upon hearing the sound of a car parking.

"I'm glad to hear you say that Sherlock." John said, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Why is Mycroft's car here?" He looked at John suspiciously, but the look on John's face made him realize what was going on almost instantly. "You invited _Mycroft?_"

"Yes, I invited Mycroft! You invited Lestrade!" John snapped back.

"Yes, because I actually somewhat like Lestrade. He can be useful." John sighed at his flat mate but eventually just smiled and laughed.

"You'll have a good time with Mycroft; don't let him ruin your whole trip."

"You invited my own brother without consulting me! How would you like it if I invited Harry?"

"It's irrelevant, he is invited and he accepted. You have to deal with that, so stop sulking like a child!" Sherlock was taken aback by John's sudden outburst. He was about to answer when Mycroft and Lestrade walked in.

"Hello Sherlock." Mycroft said to his brother. "I imagine that you did not particularly want me to come along with the three of you, but seeing as that is not your decision, I am sure you will be able to deal with it eventually." Mycroft's statement was followed by muffled laughs from both John and Lestrade.

"Hello Mycroft, and no, I did not want you to come along. However, seeing as this is John's party, I'm sure we can make the best of things." John looked at Sherlock wide-eyed before finally speaking up.

"All right, does everybody have their luggage ready?"

"Mine and Mycroft's are in the car. You're lucky I was able to get off work for the week." Lestrade said, just as Mrs. Hudson walked up the stairs to help with John and Sherlock's luggage.

After about 10 minutes, all of the luggage was in the taxi and in Mycroft's car. John and Sherlock rode in the taxi while Mycroft and Lestrade went in his car.

"Be careful, all of you!" Mrs. Hudson waved goodbye to them as they drove away.

Upon arrival at the airport, the four men got out of their cars and took their luggage through security. Sherlock had to be patted down by the guards for setting the metal detector off.

As it turns out, the airport doesn't like it when you try to bring metal jars filled with unidentified liquid inside. They confiscated all of his jars and Sherlock was able to board the plane. He quickly caught up with the other men who were waiting for him.

"I just wanted to perform some experiments during the trip." The men all laughed at this. "How long is the flight anyway?"

"About 11 hours." Mycroft replied. Sherlock rolled his eyes and boarded the plane with the others. He sat quietly at his window seat when a familiar voice sat next to him.

"Hello again, brother." Sherlock looked at Mycroft, with a look of complete disappointment.

"Please don't tell me I have to sit next to you for 11 straight hours."

"Okay then, I will refrain from telling you." Sherlock buried his head in his hands and tried to think of anything he could do to get out of this situation, but every option seemed futile. Sherlock heard John and Lestrade giggling behind them and he turned around and shot them an evil look.


	3. The Roof

Upon arrival in Las Vegas, the four men get off the plane one by one. Sherlock comes out right after Mycroft and falls to the ground.

"Thank you! I am free! After 11 long hours I am finally free!" The men would have laughed if it wasn't for the crowds of people staring at them. John eventually walks over to him and taps him on the shoulder.

"Sherlock get up! You're acting like a moron." Sherlock gets up and the guys retrieve their luggage.

"I have arranged for a rental car. If you don't mind, I shall be doing the driving." Mycroft states. The men all go outside and get into the car waiting for them outside of the airport. After a 30 minute drive, one of which consisted of Sherlock pointing out different facts of the pedestrians, they finally arrived at the hotel Caesar's Palace.

They all grab their luggage and go inside where a pretty blonde receptionist greeted them at the desk.

"Hi, welcome to Caesar's. Are you checking in?" Sherlock answered her with a smile on his face.

"Yes, we have a reservation under Holmes." She types that into the computer in front of her and responds.

"I have you in a two bedroom suite on the second floor, is that okay?"

"That sounds perfect." Mycroft responds. Sherlock cuts in right after.

"Actually, I was wondering if you had any villas available." The remaining three men look at him and Mycroft responds.

"Sherlock, we're not going to be in the room for very long. I don't see the difficulty in sharing beds for one night." Sherlock ignores him and Lestrade leans in.

"Um, if we're sharing beds I'm going with Sherlock." Sherlock looks at him strangely before he adds something else. "Is that alright?"

John just laughs but Sherlock wastes no time answering. "No, that is not alright. Guys, we are not sharing beds! We are not children!" He turns to look at the receptionist again. "I am very sorry ma'am, how much is the villa?"

"There is one villa available and it is $4200 for the night."

"Perfect! Mycroft, give her your card." Mycroft glares at him.

'I can't do that. That money is not mine; it was given to me by the British government for work related purposes only."

"We'll split it." John answers as he pulls out his card.

"John don't be ridiculous, this is not yours to pay for." Sherlock answers. The receptionist listens to their argument and responds.

"Well we only need a credit card on file, we won't charge you until you check out. Maybe you can figure it out then?" Sherlock turns back to her.

"There we go, give her your card Mycroft." Mycroft sighs but gives in.

"I suppose so." He reluctantly takes out his credit card and hands it to the receptionist. She takes it from him and gives the four men each a room key.

"Is this the real Caesar's Palace?" Lestrade blurts out. The three other men look at him strangely.

"What do you mean?" The receptionist answers.

"Did Caesar live here?"

"Um, no." She says, trying to hold back a smile.

"I didn't think so." He says, satisfied.

"You know Lestrade, for a detective inspector, you are quite dull at times." Sherlock says as they approach their room.

"Oh shut it, you didn't know the earth went around the sun, don't tell me you knew whether or not Caesar lived here!"

"I'll give you this; I don't know who Caesar is." John looks at him with disbelief.

"How do you not know that?"

"It's not important." They finally reach their room on the third floor and Mycroft turns to them before opening the door.

"Alright, that's quite enough bickering for one night." He turns back to the door and opens it. The four men enter the room with their luggage and are taken aback by the room and how large it is. Even Sherlock was thoroughly impressed.

"Wow, thank you guys." John says. "Or should I say, thank you Mycroft."

"You're quite welcome, but you should know it is only because I have grown fond of you."

Sherlock suddenly speaks up. "Alright, everybody get dressed!"

After about an hour, the four men were dressed and ready to hit the town. Sherlock stated that they had to go somewhere first and they all proceeded toward the elevator.

They take the elevator up to the top floor and go outside onto the roof, despite the many objections from Mycroft.

"Sherlock, the door clearly says we are not allowed to be here. Must you break every law you possibly can?" Sherlock simply glares at him while holding the door open with a cinderblock.

"Mycroft, we are paying for a villa, we can do whatever we please." He starts up the ladder that leads to the top of the roof and is followed by the others.

Whilst on the roof, Lestrade steps to the side and fills four shot glasses with whiskey. He brings them over and gives each man one. John takes his gratefully and turns toward Mycroft and Sherlock.

"Listen you two; I know that you don't really drink that often, but how about letting that go just for tonight?" Mycroft and Sherlock look at each other and then look back at John. They smile and raise their shot glasses. Lestrade and John smile back and they all take the shot.

They all cough and wince at how strong the alcohol is, but Lestrade refills all of their glasses anyway. While he is doing so, Sherlock speaks up.

"Okay gentlemen, I would like to discuss something. It's abou-"

"I'd like to say a few words!" Lestrade interrupts. He simply stares at him and eagerly waits for what could be so important that he was interrupted that rudely. Lestrade pulls out a piece of paper from his jacket and begins to read it aloud. "I don't know if you guys know this, but I was never really that special as a child."

Sherlock giggles slightly and Lestrade ignores him. "I was accepted into Scotland Yard, but I always felt I was never really appreciated. Then one day I met Sherlock Holmes, the great consulting detective." Sherlock smiles proudly.

"After five years, Sherlock and I had a real business relationship and I was introduced to his flat mate, Doctor John Watson. Through the both of them, I was introduced to Mycroft. I have never felt more important in my life until Sherlock invited me along with the three of you." Lestrade starts to cry and the others are clearly uncomfortable. Suddenly, Lestrade throws open his arms. "Come on guys, group hug!"

John goes over to him and put his hand on Lestrade's back, trying to calm him down.

"Lestrade, please don't tell me one shot already got you drunk." The men all laugh and pull Lestrade back into the circle. Sherlock raises his shot glass and is followed by the others.

"Alright everyone, let's make a toast to a night the four of us will never forget." They hit their glasses together and drink.


	4. The Next Morning

The only sound that anyone could hear was the pounding of their own head. They slowly opened their eyes but the world around them was spinning.

The room was nearly destroyed. The bathtub was overflowing, empty and half-full glasses littered the floor, and the television was nearly off the wall, among many other things. On top of that, there were many items in the room that none of the men even brought with them in their luggage.

Sherlock's microscope and other scientific equipment lay in pieces all over the floor. There were bits of broken glass in piles of what used to be jars. Their clothes were spread out everywhere.

Mycroft got up very carefully, using his umbrella for support. He would have fallen over if it weren't for the kitchen counter. Using his umbrella as a cane, he walked over to the couch and sat down with his head in his hands.

Lestrade got off the floor behind the counter and walked painfully to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and tried to clear his vision. He walked over to the mirror and turned on the sink to get a small drink of water.

Once he turned off the faucet, he heard a small growl to his right. He looked over to where the sound was coming from and didn't register at first what was there.

Sitting on the floor staring at Lestrade, was a full grown tiger. Lestrade simply looked at it and looked away, but when the tiger growled even louder, he realized it was there and ran out of the bathroom.

He ran out of the door so fast that he didn't notice Sherlock lying down on the floor, covered in a blanket. He tripped over Sherlock and fell on the floor and Sherlock grabbed his side in pain.

"Lestrade, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Lestrade was still clearly freaked out by what he saw and barely managed to respond.

"Sherlock, do not go in the bathroom!"

Sherlock looked at him, confused.

"What are you going on about now?" He grabbed his head, trying to stop it from pulsing. Lestrade could not control the shouting level in his voice.

"There is a tiger in the bathroom!" Lestrade answered frantically. Sherlock looked up at him with a strange look on his face.

"What are you talking about?"

Lestrade pointed at the bathroom, still screaming.

"There is a wild animal loose in our bathroom!"

At this, Sherlock got up and started toward the bathroom door whilst trying to calm Lestrade down.

"Relax, I will go look." He opened the door, peered inside and closed it almost immediately after once he heard the tiger growl.

"Mycroft, Lestrade is actually right for once! There is a tiger in there!"

Lestrade was too preoccupied to notice Sherlock's remark and ignored it. Mycroft spoke softly from the couch.

"That's not possible."

Lestrade turned to face him.

"Well it is there! It almost killed me!" He remained freaking out about this for some time and Sherlock had nearly forgotten it when he walked over to the couch and sat near his older brother.

"How are you feeling?" Sherlock asked the older man. He looked at him as if he should know the answer to that and responded.

"I am feeling the worst I have ever felt before. I suppose you are too otherwise you wouldn't have even asked that question." Sherlock just made a noise to indicate he was listening. "Sherlock, I am in a great deal of pain. My head is killing me."

"Look at this room. How did it possibly end up like this?"

Mycroft looked around and sighed very deeply.

"I know, what will my boss think when he sees the credit card bill? I am as good as gone."

Sherlock doesn't think much of this concern and asks the question that had probably been lingering in their minds as well.

"What happened last night?"

Mycroft looked up, as if to think for a moment, and turned slightly to his younger brother.

"I am not entirely sure. It sounds crazy, but I can't seem to remember."

Sherlock looks up at him, almost with a look of relief on his face, knowing that it had not just been him.

"Neither can I." Sherlock looks behind him where Lestrade is still pacing back and forth talking about the tiger.

"Lestrade, can you remember anything from last night?" The detective inspector paused for a moment and responded before resuming his pacing.

"Not a thing."

Sherlock rolled his eyes but responded anyway.

"Alright, well wake up John. We need to get out of here before the maid shows up. I don't feel like providing an explanation, especially when I can't."

Lestrade huffed in annoyance but retreated to John's bedroom. Mycroft spoke up, speaking more clearly and louder.

"What am I possibly going to do about that card? How can I explain something like this?"

Sherlock raised a hand to comment and calm his brother down.

"Mycroft, just relax. Everything will be fine."

He shot an angry glare at Sherlock and raised his voice louder than ever.

"Relax? How do you expect me to relax? Look around you, Sherlock! We did all of this last night and we can't even begin to perceive how or why. Not even you and your deductive prowess can piece this one together."

Sherlock was clearly hurt by this accusation. He hadn't even begun to analyze the room like he normally does. He was going to retort if it hadn't been for Lestrade re-entering the room.

"Guys, John isn't in there."

Sherlock simply looked over at him, impatiently. Assuming he had not thoroughly searched for him.

"Did you check every room?"

Lestrade had a look on his face that implied, 'Yes, I'm not stupid.' But he remained calm before answering him.

"Yes, I checked everywhere. I can't find him and his mattress isn't on the bed frame."

"I'll phone him; he probably got up early to get breakfast and didn't want to wait for us." Sherlock pulls out his phone and dials John's number. It doesn't ring for very long until they guys can hear ringing from a cell phone coming from the room.

Lestrade scrambles around the mess trying to find the phone. He eventually finds it on top of a counter underneath a bunch of napkins.

"Uh guys, I think this is John's phone." He says, holding it up. Sherlock hangs up and responds.

"Thank you Lestrade, but I think I was able to gather that without the aid of Scotland Yard." He quickly dismissed this as a problem. "He probably just left his phone here by accident, let's take it with us and see if he is downstairs."

They all gather whatever they need and begin to exit the room when a soft cry stopped them. The three of them exchanged glances, thinking maybe one of them had done it, but that theory was dismissed when they heard it again.

Sherlock went over to where he suspected it was coming from and opened a small closet door. There, sitting in a small carrier, was a baby. No more than six months old.

From the baby's clothing, he could deduce that the mother did not have much money, he was a boy, and from the carrier he could see that the mother had long fingernails and wore red lipstick but can't properly apply it. What he did not know, however, was the identity of the mother.

"Whose baby is that?" He demanded. He was met with dirty looks from the other men.

"How are we supposed to know?" Mycroft responded. He bent down to try and calm the child down.

"Lestrade, are you certain there was no one else here?"

"I'm sure, there is no one else."

Sherlock didn't care to listen to the two of them go back and forth.

"We'll get to him later; right now we have to find John."

Mycroft stood up and stared right at his brother.

"Sherlock, can you drop the sociopath thing for a moment? We are not leaving a baby in this room by himself with a wild animal loose in the bathroom. We need to take him with us."

"I'll carry him." Lestrade offered. He was met with no objection from the two brothers. He took the child in his arms and they all proceeded out the door toward the elevator.


	5. The Journey Begins

Outside, Lestrade and Sherlock were sitting at a small table by the pool. Sherlock had gotten a cup of coffee and Lestrade was sipping orange juice. They requested a high chair for the baby and seated him in between the two of them.

"Sherlock, we should give him a name."

The consulting detective looked at him, annoyed.

"He's doesn't belong to us, we're not naming him."

"Oh come on! Just something to call him by, I don't want to keep referring it him as 'baby'."

"If you want to name him, be my guest."

Lestrade looked at the baby and thought for a moment on what name would be suitable for their newfound friend. He looked back at Sherlock.

"Arthur."

"Of all the names you could have picked, why Arthur?"

"He just looks like an Arthur."

Mycroft emerges and sits at the table next to Sherlock. He is visibly concerned and immediately starts speaking.

"I can't find John anywhere. I looked in every conceivable place. I've asked everyone that works here and no one has seen John."

Sherlock listens to what Mycroft has to say, but does not express any worry.

"Mycroft, I'm sure he is fine. He is a grown adult; he can take care of himself. Just relax and have something to drink." Sherlock pushes a glass of orange juice towards him. At the sight of it, Mycroft leans to the side and throws up on the ground.

"I can't have anything to drink."

Sherlock sighs and brings the glass back to the center of the table.

"Okay, let's just see if we can remember what we did. What is the last thing we remember?"

Lestrade is the first to speak.

"Well I remember going on the roof and doing shots of whiskey." The mention of the drink makes Mycroft gag, but he holds it in. Sherlock speaks up next.

"After that, I think we went to dinner somewhere."

"Yeah that's right, then we went to a casino and I am pretty sure John was with us."

"That sounds about right."

Mycroft listens, but interrupts them mid-conversation.

"I don't even remember doing anything after we were on the roof."

Sherlock puts his head on the table, in defeat.

"I know me neither. I am never drinking again. Damn, why did I let John convince me to?"

"After the casino I blacked out, total emptiness." He said with a smile, Mycroft shot him a threatening glare. Sherlock calculated something in his head and relayed it to the two men.

"We were on the roof for no more than an hour. After that we went to dinner, which takes about two hours including travel time, wait time and time for us to eat. We probably spent about three hours at the casino, so we only remember as far as about midnight. This means we lost John within 10 hours. He couldn't have gotten very far."

"How do we know where to start?" Lestrade asked. "We can't even remember anything."

"That's true, but I know where to start." He said, raising his right hand to reveal a hospital band. "I saw it shortly after I woke up. All we have to do is talk to the doctor that examined me and we will be on the right track."

"Great! Let's not waste any more time then." Mycroft said, rising from his chair. He was followed by the others and Sherlock turned to Lestrade.

"Don't forget Arthur."

Mycroft looked at them, confused.

"Who's Arthur?"

"Lestrade named the child Arthur."

Mycroft eyed Lestrade for a moment, but brushed it off and the three men made their way out of the hotel area. They waited outside for the valet to arrive with their car. Mycroft looked at Lestrade again and spoke up.

"Lestrade, are you certain you can take care of that child?"

"Mycroft I'm in the police force. I have found several children before." He responded as if Mycroft should already know the answer to that question.

"The circumstances are significantly different."

"I'll be fine; I seem to be doing okay now."

Mycroft was going to respond, but a police car suddenly pulled up in front of the three of them. A worker from the hotel got out and looked at Lestrade.

"Here is your car, officer."

Lestrade looked very confused, he intended to say something to the gentleman, but Sherlock nudged him and they started forward. He thanked the worker instead and got in the driver's seat.

"So we're stealing a police car now?" Lestrade asked Sherlock, who was sitting in the backseat.

"We're not stealing it, but we don't know where our car is, so this is the best we've got."

Mycroft interrupted them and looked outside his window in the passenger seat.

"Gentlemen, look outside. There is something that may interest you."

The three of them wordlessly looked outside and saw the missing mattress from John's room being taken off of the statue it was impaled through. Sherlock got out of the car and asked someone what had happened.

"Someone threw their mattress out the window. Some guys just can't handle Vegas."

Sherlock laughed slightly and agreed with the man before returning to the backseat of the police car.

On the road, there was a lot of traffic which prevented them from getting anywhere fast. Mycroft sat in the passenger seat, constantly complaining.

"This is extremely illegal! If we get arrested, who knows what could happen to us?"

Sherlock just sighed from the backseat and leaned forward.

"Mycroft, must you complain about everything we do? Can't you see the amusing side to this?"

"Amusing? We are driving a stolen police car with a missing child in the backseat and a friend whom we can't seem to find. What part of this is amusing?"

Lestrade is driving, but manages to add his two cents in.

"I think driving a police car is pretty cool."

"Thank you Lestrade, at least someone agrees with me."

Lestrade grows more and more annoyed with the traffic and does something the two brothers can say they have never seen him do before.

"That's it, I'm through with this!" With that, he turns the siren on and proceeds to drive the car onto the sidewalk. Sherlock starts laughing at Lestrade's sudden outburst, but Mycroft screams at him through all of the people trying to get out of the way.

"Lestrade, have you completely lost your mind? Get off the sidewalk! You're incompetence is beyond me!"

Lestrade ignores him and uses the intercom to tell the pedestrians to get out of the way. Mycroft continues to yell at him until they are away from the traffic and onto the road once more. After that ordeal, the three men continue on their way toward the hospital.


	6. The Wedding

After about half an hour, the three men finally made it to the hospital. They walked in and Sherlock asked the nurse at the front desk if he could see the doctor who examined him. She told them that she would call for him and to have a seat in the waiting room.

While in the waiting room, Sherlock is sitting with his arms crossed, very impatient, Mycroft is swinging his umbrella back and forth, and Lestrade is trying to entertain Arthur. It is not long after that when a male doctor walks over to Sherlock.

"Hello again, Sherlock." He reached out his hand for the detective to shake. Sherlock shook his hand but sighed immediately after.

"Hello Doctor. Please forgive me, but we are having some trouble remembering what has happened last night. Could you perhaps, tell us what we were doing here?"

The doctor looked at the three of them, almost as if he suspected them of lying. He excused himself for a minute. He resurfaced with what looked like Sherlock's chart. He flipped through a page or two before raising his eyebrows at one particular thing and looking back up.

"Well, my name is Dr. Stevens." He pointed at Sherlock. "You came in for a mild concussion and tried to persuade me to lock you up in the psych ward because you thought your brain was rotting."

Mycroft giggled at this.

"We don't need a doctor to tell us his brain is rotting. That is old news."

Sherlock shot him a death glare and turned back toward the doctor.

"Do you remember who was with us?"

The doctor pondered for a moment before remembering.

"Yes, it was the three of you and one other person. No baby, though."

The three men sighed in relief. However, they still needed to get on the right track.

"Is there anything else you can tell me about what happened?"

"I can tell you this, the reason you can't remember anything is because all of you had Rohypnol in your system."

The three men all looked at each other, worried. Lestrade was the first to speak up with the words no one wanted to hear.

"Isn't that…the date rape drug?"

The doctor sighed before responding.

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Sherlock looked back at the doctor with nearly worried eyes.

"So was I…raped last night?"

"Thankfully no, I checked your chart for the results of some of the tests we ran last night. Everything looks fine; the drug should be out of all of your systems by now. Is there anything else you need?"

Mycroft spoke up at this question.

"Is there anything we may have been speaking about to one another or to you? We lost our companion and we could use any help we can get."

Once again, the doctor pondered this. He shook his head at first but then looked at them, realizing something.

"I seem to recall you guys talking about a wedding."

"That doesn't help us very much, our friend John is getting married in a few days. This party was for him."

"You guys weren't talking about John's wedding." The three of them looked up at the same time. "You were talking about a wedding you just came from. You said you came from a place called the Best Little Chapel."

They had no idea what to make of this. Sherlock even looked at all of their hands to see if there were any wedding rings. He couldn't find anything so he was at a loss. He looked back at the doctor; maybe going to this chapel will give them another lead.

"Do you know where that is?"

"Sorry, but I don't know. I need to get upstairs for surgery, I hope I helped." He walked away without saying another word.

Sherlock didn't acknowledge his exit. He pulls out his blackberry and puts the location into it. Once he finds where it is, he gives his phone to Lestrade and tells him to drive there. They leave the hospital and climb into the police car.

The drive was silent. Sherlock was still in the backseat, trying to piece everything together. Mycroft was in the passenger seat, looking out the window and Lestrade was driving.

The chapel was at least an hour drive. Once they arrive, they step out and look at their surroundings. There is no lawn, it is only cement. There are a few shrubs by the building and there is a single sign that says Best Little Chapel on it.

They step inside and see a man setting up for another ceremony. Sherlock could deduce that he was at least thirty, single, Hispanic of some kind, and middle class. He is the first to speak up.

"Pardon me, sir?"

The man turns around and smiles with excitement at the sight of the three men.

"Boys! I thought I would never see you again! Did you miss me? I thought you went back to London!" He points at each man individually, starting with Lestrade. "You are so crazy, my friend!"

He points to Sherlock next. "You're so smart man! I can't believe you could tell me my whole life!" Finally, he points to Mycroft.

"Okay, I know a lot of crazy people. I see crazy people come into this place all the time, but this guy is the craziest one I have ever seen!"

Sherlock looks at the man, confused.

"Mycroft is the craziest person you've ever seen?"

"Absolutely, the stuff he was doing here is beyond anything I have ever seen!" He steps back and looks at Mycroft. "What's the problem? You guys forget about me or something?"

Mycroft answers him very calmly.

"Actually, that is precisely the problem. We seem to have forgotten what has happened here last night. Would you be so kind as to elaborate?"

The man laughs very hard, in obvious disbelief.

"You very funny man, come on how could you forget something like this?"

Sherlock was the next to answer.

"We understand that there was a wedding here last night. Who got married?"

The man suddenly got very serious and looked at them all strangely.

"You really don't remember anything?" They all shake their heads. "Come with me, I'll show you what happened. My name is Ed, by the way."

Ed leads the men to the front desk, where he pulls out a photo album and opens it to reveal pictures of Mycroft with an unidentified girl. Mycroft takes one look and is beside himself.

"What the hell? What am I possibly going to say to my boss? How could I be so stupid? If this gets out to the media, I am a dead man."

"Congratulations Mycroft. She's gorgeous." Sherlock snickers. Mycroft sends him a mean glare.

"This cannot be happening."

Lestrade flips to another page in the album and sees a picture of Mycroft and the woman with a huge grin on his face.

"I'll give you this Mycroft. You look quite happy." He giggled. Mycroft didn't spare him the look.

"I am glad you two find this amusing."

Sherlock stopped laughing and looked at his brother.

"I'm sure we can fix this." He looked at Ed. "I'm sorry sir, but we need to get this marriage annulled. Can you do that?"

"Yes, it breaks my heart, but I'll make a very good price for you. Is she here with you?"

"No, she's not."

"Oh, I assumed she was since you have her baby. I can't do it with just him, so once you get her, we can do it."

"What is her name?"

"Alicia. It is a very nice name and she is a very beautiful girl."

"Can you give me her address?"

Ed gives Sherlock the address and they exit the chapel. Mycroft puts the photo album in the trunk.

"Whatever happened to our rental car?"

Sherlock looks back at his brother.

"John probably has it, let's just find Alicia and get this fixed first. Besides, she might know where John is."

"After this, we need to destroy everything. The car, the album, everything! That night needs to disappear and the only way we can make sure of that is to destroy it!"

"Mycroft, have you lost your mind?"

"I have to side with Sherlock on this, Mycroft." Lestrade said. "I don't think I can bring myself to destroy a police car."

"If I get caught with a scandal, I am taking you both down with me."

Sherlock and Lestrade rolled their eyes and got into the car. Lestrade started the engine and was about to pull out when another car sped into the parking lot and blocked their way out. The men all sat, confused as two other men got out of the car, one of them wielding a bat and demanded them out of the car.

"Where is he?" He demanded. Lestrade tried to calm them down.

"Take it easy, we are probably looking for the same person."

The two men outside were not listening and started hitting the windshield with the bat, nearly shattering it.

"Get out of the car!"

Sherlock started screaming from the backseat.

"Lestrade, the car is started just drive away!"

He starts to drive, but one of the men pulls out a gun.

"If you drive, I'll shoot!"

"Lestrade, he's got a gun!" Mycroft pointed out.

"I can see that!" Lestrade drove off anyway, driving over the gun-wielding man's foot. He shoots, but it hits a tree and they manage to make it out alive. Arthur is in the backseat with Sherlock, crying. He tries to calm him down.

"It's alright, stop crying, we're going to be alright." He turns toward the front of the car. "Can anyone tell me what that was?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Lestrade asks. They all sit back and try to relax and drive to the address given to them by Ed.

They arrive at a small, middle class apartment building and start toward her room number. They knock on the door and a frantic woman answers the door. It is the same woman from the photo album. At the sight of the three men and her baby, she sighs with relief.

"Thank God he's with you guys!" She takes the baby from Lestrade. "I missed you."

She looks at Mycroft. "I missed you too." She goes up to him and kisses him. Mycroft looks horrified. Sherlock laughs slightly but speaks up.

"Listen, it is Alicia, right?"

"Very funny, Sherlock."

"Okay, well can you tell us what happened?"

"What do you mean? I got up in the morning to get you guys some coffee and when I came back, you were gone." They all stare at her. "Well, come inside cause I have to feel Michael."

They all go inside and sit on the couch. She fills up Michael's bottle and sits in the chair with him and gives it to him.

"You guys are acting weird, what's going on?"

Sherlock asks all the questions.

"Do you remember our friend John?"

"Of course, he was the best man!"

"What? Why was John the best man and not me?"

"Well, Mycroft said that it was just to irritate you."

"Of course it was, anyway, we can't seem to find him and we're getting worried. Do you remember the last time you saw him?"

"I haven't seen him since the wedding."

"Do you remember what time that ended?"

"Around 3:00am, because I had to finish my shift at the strip club." The men all shifted uncomfortably. "After I was done at work, I went to the hotel."

"Did you see John there?"

"No, I didn't. The room was destroyed and you guys were all passed out."

Sherlock looked at all of them.

"Great, so we don't even know if John was with us when we got back to the hotel."

Sherlock got up to leave, but was knocked back onto the couch by the surprise of the police officers breaking into the room.

"Everyone stay where you are! You three are under arrest!"


	7. The Car

The three men are sitting on the police bench, all handcuffed together. They each get one phone call, but they cannot make one because the pay phone is not long distance. Sherlock speaks up to a passing officer.

"Excuse me, sir? Is there any way we can make a long distance call? We need to get in touch with out friend's fiancé."

The officer replied sternly, but with a hint of sympathy.

"Sorry boys, I wish I could help, but we can't allow you to use any phone besides the pay phone."

All three of them sighed and leaned back against the wall. Another officer suddenly stepped out of a room nearby and called all three of their names.

"Holmes, Lestrade, and Holmes, step this way please."

They all got up at the same time. Sherlock was handcuffed to Lestrade and Lestrade to Mycroft. Lestrade ended up getting tangled up with the other two, but eventually he found the right way and they made their way to the interrogation room.

Inside, the two arresting officers were waiting for them. They directed them to their seats, undid their handcuffs and sat across from them.

"So, can any of you gentlemen tell me why our police car was in your possession?"

They were all silent for a while until Mycroft spoke up.

"In all honesty sir, we can't remember."

The second officer spoke up.

"What do you mean you can't remember?"

"We were mysteriously drugged last night and cannot remember what we did."

The two officers exchanged glances, clearly in disbelief.

"Well then let me try to help you. You stole a police car and left your rental car parked in the middle of the street."

They all sighed in relief with the knowledge that their car was found. Sherlock spoke up next.

"Where is it now?"

"It's over at the impound. Unfortunately, we will need to get you in front of a judge in a few days."

"Sir, that's not possible. We need to be back in London in two days for a wedding."

"Well I don't see how that's possible seeing as you stole our police car."

"Excuse me." Lestrade says. Everyone in the room looks at him. "I happen to be a detective inspector at Scotland Yard. I know what it's like to be an officer of the law. That being said, neither of us wants to look bad. We also don't need any sort of problem being caused between America and Britain."

"What are you getting at?"

"I believe that we can work out some kind of arrangement, discreetly, of course."

Mycroft also speaks up.

"If I may just add something, I also occupy a minor position in the British government, and the CIA. I can make all of this go away without any thought."

The two officers look at each other and lean back in their chairs. They are silent for a few more seconds before one of them answers.

"Listen, we don't want to start any trouble between the two countries. Maybe it's best if we just forget this ever happened. You can pick your car up from the impound right after you leave."

"Thank you officers, we owe you one." Lestrade says as the three men get up and exit.

A little while later, they are at the impound waiting for their rental car. Mycroft went inside the building to use the restroom while Sherlock and Lestrade sat outside.

"Sherlock, I'm worried about John." Lestrade said. Sherlock looked at him, unconcerned.

"I'm sure he's fine."

"Well, why hasn't he called? Wouldn't he assume that we are looking for him?"

"John's not the brightest person alive, but don't worry. He's a grown man; he can take care of himself."

Mycroft comes out of the building, swinging his umbrella in his hand and looks at the others.

"I would be willing to place a wager that the rental car is utterly destroyed. Wouldn't you say?" He said with a small laugh. Sherlock turned toward him very seriously.

"Mycroft, you probably want to shut up now. Lestrade is really worried."

Mycroft looks over at Lestrade.

"My deepest apologies, Gregory."

Right after he said that, they heard the sound of a car turning the corner. They all closed their eyes and prepared for the worst. The sound of the car screeching to a halt made them cringe. They opened their eyes almost all at once and simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief that the car had minimal damage. It only had a few dirt stains. They all climbed in the car, Lestrade at the wheel, Sherlock in the back, and Mycroft in the passenger's seat. With their minds put slightly at ease, they drove away.


	8. The Trunk

Lestrade continues to drive a little further, mostly on side streets, and frantically looks around to see where he is going.

"Did you guys find anything?"

Mycroft checks under his seat more before responding.

"I found a few cigars underneath my seat."

"I'll take them." Sherlock chimes in. Mycroft glares at him and tosses them out the window.

"You're not smoking again, Sherlock."

"You didn't have to waste them." He says under his breath. He reaches to the car floor and pulls out a pair of shoes. "There are men's shoes here. They're not John's; they're a bit too big. Whoever wore them has an eye for fashion, particularly Westwood. Judging by the size of the shoe, I'd say this person is at least 5'8"."

"I won't bother asking for an explanation as to how you know that." Lestrade said from the driver's seat.

They continue to drive a little further when a small noise disrupts their thinking.

"Did you hear that?" Sherlock asked.

They listened for a few seconds and heard the noise again. Mycroft was the first to speak up.

"It's coming from the trunk." He suddenly realized what that could mean and raised his voice to a yell. "What if John is in the trunk?"

The three men all start to yell at the possibility of John being stuck in the car all this time. Lestrade pulls over into a deserted dirt field and they all practically break their doors trying to get out of the car.

They all scream John's name and Sherlock grabs the keys from Lestrade and unlocks the trunk. They look inside, hopefully, but are very unpleasantly surprised when a naked man jumps out and leaps onto Sherlock.

More screaming emerges from the guys as this unidentified man grabs Sherlock's hair and pulls as hard as he can.

Sherlock manages to push him off, but the man picks up a large stick from the ground and hits Sherlock in the face with it. Sherlock falls to the ground.

Mycroft tries to grab the stick from him, but is promptly hit in the stomach and back with the stick and falls right next to Sherlock.

He turns and faces Lestrade next. Lestrade does his best to calm the man down.

"Woah! Take it easy!" The man didn't speak; he just held his stick firmly in his grasp. "Listen, I'm a cop. We've just had a misunderstanding. All of this can be fixed. Just give me the stick."

Without thinking, the man hurled the stick at Lestrade, hitting him right in the forehead. His head jerks back, but he falls forward and clutches his head in pain. The man runs away immediately after and none of the men attempt to follow him. They all simply get up slowly, in severe pain.

"What the hell was that?" Sherlock demands.

"I think my stomach ruptured!" Mycroft groaned.

"Did anyone get a good look at him?"

"Sherlock, do you really think amidst the assault with a tree branch, I stopped to look at this man?"

"I was just asking." Sherlock said innocently.

Lestrade sits and leans against the car, still clutching his head. The other two men are as well, but they stop dead in their tracks when they hear the unfamiliar sound of Lestrade crying.

"I'm so sorry guys."

"Lestrade, what are you talking about?" Sherlock asks.

"Last night when I poured those shots on the rooftop, I slipped something into each glass."

Sherlock looks at Lestrade with a look of disbelief and a look of anger.

"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking!"

Mycroft leaned up from the ground and stared at Lestrade coldly.

"You put the drugs in the drink?"

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I bought it from this guy who said it would show all of us a good time. I had never done it, so I was curious."

"Gregory, as an officer of the law, you should know better!"

"Well, I didn't know!" Lestrade's crying grew heavier. "Drugs are not my division!"

Mycroft's voice grew louder and angrier.

"How you became a detective inspector is beyond me!"

Sherlock was annoyed as Lestrade as well, but managed to speak up.

"Mycroft, just calm down."

"Don't you tell me to calm down! We were drugged by this incompetent fool! You were hospitalized and I married a stripper!"

Lestrade looked up for a moment.

"Hey, she's a very nice woman!"

"Oh shut up, Gregory, you are such an imbecile!"

Sherlock and Mycroft both stood up, while Lestrade stayed on the ground. Sherlock was the first one to speak up.

"Okay, I know you're mad Mycroft, but at least now we know how we were drugged. At least it wasn't some freak drugging us!"

"Oh yes, Sherlock, everything is just wonderful now isn't it? Oh, that is if you forget to mention the fact that our friend John is probably dead in a ditch somewhere with the murderer stripping his corpse of his clothes and money!"

Lestrade has stopped crying and looks up at Mycroft.

"I find that unlikely."

"You want to prove to me that it's not true?"

Sherlock moves over to the driver's seat and opens the door to the car.

"Okay, you two. Let's just go back to the hotel and get sorted. John might even be there. I'm driving this time. Come on."

Lestrade looks at Mycroft and reaches his arm out to silently ask for help getting up. Mycroft smacks his arms away and opens the door to the passenger's seat.

The door accidently hits Lestrade in the head right where the man threw the stick at him and Lestrade cries out in pain. Mycroft rolls his eyes.

"My apologies, Greg." He extends his hand to help him up, to which Lestrade accepts. They get in the car and drive off.

After an agonizingly silent car ride to the hotel, the men saunter slowly down the hall to their room.

They almost reach the door when Lestrade speaks up.

"Wait guys, what about the tiger? It could have gotten out."

Sherlock groans and leans against the wall.

"Damn, I keep forgetting about the tiger. How did it get in there?"

They walk slowly toward the door to their room and Sherlock open the door cautiously.

The room looks the same and the tiger is nowhere in sight, so they walk in normally.

They are about to get settled in when a voice startles all three of them.

"Excuse me, gentlemen."

They all turn toward the voice. Surprisingly, it is a beautiful young woman. She had black hair, semi-casual clothes, and light, but noticeable makeup.

"I'll handle this." Lestrade said, clearly interested in this woman. "My name is Gregory Lestrade. What would yours be?"

"Irene Adler. It's nice to meet you."

The Holmes' brothers were skeptical of Ms. Adler's random visit. Lestrade didn't seem to mind.

"So Irene, what brings you to our room?"

"I was just dropping by. Oh and just one thing."

Lestrade was about to ask what, but he was interrupted by a very hard slap to his face. It was so hard and sudden that Lestrade stumbled back a bit and screamed in pain.

"Would any of you boys care to tell me why my tiger is in your bathroom?"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for not updating in a while, I hope to do it more often!<strong>


	9. The Tiger

Everyone was taken by surprise by Irene's actions, but Sherlock stepped in before she could do Lestrade any more damage.

"Excuse me, Ms. Adler. That was completely unnecessary. My name is Sherlock Holmes, this is my brother Mycroft. You tell me that the tiger is yours?"

The look of anger on her face did not change, nor did her tone of voice.

"I'm the main zookeeper in a nearby zoo. Apparently, you gentlemen broke in late last night and stole one of my tigers from her cage. You're lucky I didn't call the police!"

Sherlock sighed and turned to his brother. Mycroft simply shrugged and Sherlock turned back to Irene.

"We don't really remember doing that. We were drugged last night."

Irene rolled her eyes in disbelief. Mycroft decided to step in.

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's the truth. We did unspeakable things last night and now our friend is missing. You know what? If you really want to call the police, go right ahead."

"Mycroft!" Sherlock yelled.

"I don't care anymore! They'll have my ass back home anyway!"

Irene cuts in before the boys can go on any further.

"If you boys are done bickering, maybe you'll tell me why you would want to steal my tiger anyway?"

Sherlock shrugged.

"I guess we do stupid things when we're…under the influence."

"How did you find us here anyway?"

Irene walked over to the couch and held out a jacket.

"I found this in the cage. There was a room key in it."

Sherlock pointed to the jacket and stared in disbelief.

"That's John's jacket!"

Irene tosses it to him and he catches it and starts going through the pockets. He finds John's wallet, but there is nothing out of the ordinary in it.

"John is our missing friend." Mycroft says.

"You're acting like I care."

She was met with dirty looks from the guys, but it did not intimidate her.

"Listen, is there any way that we can go to the zoo and look around for any indication of where our friend is?"

"Of course dear, after all, you're bringing the tiger back."

Sherlock and Mycroft look at each other with confusion. Lestrade was still holding his face.

"Sorry, what?"

"You heard me. You brought her here; you're going to bring her back. I've closed the zoo down for the day; just sneak her around the back entrance so you don't draw any attention to yourself. Please gentlemen, try to have her back within the hour."

Her words were very sarcastic. She didn't give the guys a chance to respond; she simply got her belongings and left the room.

After a while, Lestrade regains his composure and the three men scramble to figure out what to do.

Eventually, Sherlock buys a large steak from a nearby butcher's and Lestrade inserts the remaining pills that he had into it. Mycroft, still annoyed at Lestrade, speaks up.

"I think Gregory should be the one to give the steak to the tiger."

Sherlock looks at him.

"Mycroft, Lestrade has done enough for now. You do it."

"Have you gone mad? What about you?"

"My job was to purchase the steak, I did my part. You're giving it to the tiger. Just make sure he eats all of it."

Mycroft huffs in annoyance and accepts the steak from Lestrade.

"Very well."

He slowly makes his way towards the bathroom. Once he opens the door, he cautiously peers inside to find the tiger lying down in the middle of the floor.

Mycroft slowly approaches the tiger and holds out the steak. He almost gets used to the tiger when she jumps up and swipes at his arm in an attempt to get the steak.

She misses, but Mycroft is so scared he screams at the top of his lungs and runs out of the room, shutting the door quickly.

He is met with snickering from Sherlock, but a quick glance in Mycroft's direction sends both Sherlock and Lestrade into a complete laughing fit.

They both almost fall on the floor laughing and have to lean on the wall for support.

"Mycroft, I had no idea you screamed like such a girl!" He managed to say through his laughter and tears.

Mycroft straightens himself out and stares at them with an annoyed look on his face.

"I am so happy you two find this so amusing."

"We really do." Lestrade says.

After the laughing stops, the three men sit and wait for the drugs to take effect.

It doesn't take very long and once they're sure the tiger is out cold, Sherlock goes downstairs to get a luggage carrier.

The guys wrap her in a few sheets and push the tiger out of the hotel, much to the dismay of Mycroft.

"We're going to get caught; I just know we're going to get caught."

"Shut up, Mycroft." Sherlock says.

When they reach their car, they pick up the tiger and place her in the back seat of the rental car. Sherlock drives, Mycroft sits in the middle, and Lestrade in the passenger's seat.

They drive for a little while before Lestrade speaks up.

"Hey guys, do you think Anderson will leave his wife for Donovan?"

Sherlock looks at Lestrade, disgusted, before looking back to the road.

"Lestrade, I don't want to think about that! But no, I don't think he will."

"I don't think so either, I was just wondering. You know, ever since you exposed them that day during Jennifer Wilson's murder, they've been a lot more…open with their relationship."

Sherlock repeats how he doesn't want to hear about them and they continue to drive, no one notices the tiger getting up behind them and only realize once it starts to growl.

All three of them scream as loud as they can and Sherlock frantically pulls over to the side of the road.

The tiger swipes her paw and hits Sherlock in the neck, causing him to clutch his neck in pain. Luckily, the scratch was very superficial.

Once the car is stopped, they all jump from the car and watch in horror as the tiger shreds the inside.

They were all too scared to get back inside, so they opt to push the car the rest of the way. Luckily for them, they only had a few more blocks to go.

Sherlock and Mycroft push from the back while Lestrade has his hand inside the front to steer. The thought of the tiger frightens him and he pulls his hand out.

"Guys, I'm too scared the tiger will claw my hand!"

Mycroft raises his voice.

"Gregory, get your hand back in there and steer! The tiger is nowhere near you!"

After a while, he gives in and places his hand back on the wheel.

Once they arrive at the zoo, Irene Adler is waiting at the back gate.

"You're late, boys."

Sherlock looks very annoyed that she rushed them.

"We were attacked by this beast and had to push the car to avoid getting killed, but we're so sorry for wasting _your_ time."

She noticed the sarcasm in his voice and snickered.

"Whatever. Come inside my office, boys. There is something I want to show you."


	10. The Man

The three men were led into Irene's office, where there were several screens that showed various areas of the zoo.

Irene points to one of the screens.

"Pay attention to this screen, boys. I'll show you the footage we recorded from last night."

They all gather around and watch closely at the scene that unfolds before them.

Sherlock, John, Lestrade, and Mycroft are all stumbling around inside the zoo, near the tiger's cage. Everyone is laughing hysterically.

John is leaning on Lestrade for support, while Sherlock and Mycroft seem to be fighting over a beer bottle. Sherlock is holding it, but Mycroft is trying to snatch it from his hands.

In the room, Sherlock and Mycroft shift uncomfortably due to embarrassment. However, Mycroft also sighs in relief.

"Oh, thank God John was with us."

Irene looks at Mycroft, annoyed.

"Please just watch the video."

Mycroft glares at her, but looks back at the screen. As the men approach the tiger's cage, Sherlock pulls something small out of his pocket and picks the lock to the cage.

They slowly go into the cage and Sherlock approaches the tiger. A second shot shows Lestrade approaching the tiger's water supply.

Lestrade chuckles a bit at his drunken state, but his face quickly changes when he sees himself urinating into the tiger's water. Sherlock and Mycroft turn to Lestrade with a confused look.

Irene pauses the video and turns to Lestrade. The look on her face is enough for Lestrade to understand the message.

"I guess I'll go wait outside, then?"

"Good idea."

Once he leaves, Mycroft speaks up.

"He's a little strange when he is intoxicated."

Irene says nothing and resumes the video. The very next shot is Sherlock and the others leading the tiger to the car just outside the gate.

The tiger allows itself to be led into the backseat. Irene turns to the two brothers.

"By the way, where did you guys get a police car."

Mycroft answers her.

"We actually stole it from two police officers."

Irene bursts out laughing and continues with the video, but Sherlock speaks up.

"Very nice tiger too, she's very beautiful."

Just as he says that, Sherlock coaxes the tiger to jump on him. The tiger puts her two front paws on his shoulders, with her hind legs still on the ground.

The three men in the video watch as Sherlock starts to move slowly.

_"Look guys! I'm slow dancing with a tiger!"_

Irene chuckles, but turns to Sherlock anyway.

"Who does stuff like this?"

"Well," Sherlock starts. "I don't drink very much. You can see why."

The video ends and Irene opens the door to let them out.

"That's all the cameras got. I hope that helps to find your friend. Now if you'll please leave. It would seem I have to change the tiger's water bin."

They waste no time getting Lestrade and getting into their car to drive away. On the road, Mycroft drives, Sherlock is in the passenger's seats and Lestrade sits in the back.

"So what do we do now?" Mycroft asks. Sherlock is the one to respond.

"Well, we obviously did that at night. We would have to take the tiger straight back to the hotel so we must have lost him there, or sometime in between. Damn, I wish I could figure out how we lost him. I think we should call Sarah."

"Thank you for finally saying something reasonable, Sherlock!"

"We have no choice, but maybe she's heard from John."

"Exactly. Let's call her as soon as we get back to the hotel. Just one thing though, let's not mention anything about the whole stripper or tiger ordeal. I advise that we stay focused on John." Sherlock rolls his eyes, but smiles right after.

Mycroft stops at a red light, it is night outside but there is no one around due to the area they are in being rather barren.

Lestrade speaks up from the back.

"What are we going to do about this car? How are we going to explain this to the rental company?"

"There's not much we can do besides pay for the repairs, I suppose." Sherlock answers.

None of them noticed the car that was speeding toward them while they were stopped. A black SUV rammed into the side of their car, pinning their car to a nearby building.

All of them scream on impact, but quickly make sure they're alright before looking to see what happened. The car backs away, giving a reasonable amount of room.

A somewhat short, black-haired man steps out from the passenger's seat and walks in front of the rental car.

Lestrade recognizes him immediately.

"Hey, isn't that the guys that was in our trunk?"

Sherlock and Mycroft are silent, but try to remain as calm as possible.

This man was wearing a Westwood suit, so Sherlock assumed that the shoes he found belonged to this man. When he spoke, the guys were surprised to learn that he was also from Britain.

"If you boys wouldn't mind, please step out of the car."

A few men step toward their car. Mycroft looks over at them and leans toward Sherlock.

"Those are the men we saw at the chapel." Sherlock nods and the man indicates for the two men to remove them from their car.

They grab Sherlock first, practically dragging him through the window. Mycroft, being in the driver's seat, is pulled more roughly through. The mystery man points to the backseat to Lestrade, who is clearly trying to conceal himself.

"Don't forget that grey-haired one!"

The two men grab Lestrade through the window and roughly pull him through the window. He tries to act brave, but the two men laugh at him.

He walks over to Sherlock and Mycroft, and the man speaks up.

"I believe you boys have something that belongs to me."

They don't speak for a while, but Lestrade answers him.

"We don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that! You stole from the wrong man, boys."

Mycroft sighs in annoyance.

"Listen sir, we don't remember anything that happened last night. Would you care to elaborate?"

"Of course, Mycroft. We met late last night at a casino. I took a liking to you boys and I was, of course, a little intoxicated myself. I was stupid enough to have you look after my mobile while I played blackjack."

Sherlock stares at this man in amazement.

"So you crashed our car for a phone?"

"I am in a very tough business. I need that for work-related purposes."

"Wait, so how did you end up in the trunk?"

The man sighs and rolls his eyes, but shakes it off and responds.

"Well, I confronted you later that night, but you started screaming that I was coming after you and locked me in the trunk!"

Sherlock and the others start snickering, much to the annoyance of the man.

"Sorry, but that's just funny."

The man laughs sarcastically.

"I'm glad you find that funny, because I'm not sure you'll find this so funny." He point to his car, where they see a man in the backseat of the car. He was struggling and there was a bag over his head. The three men promptly start freaking out.

"John!" Sherlock yells from where he's standing. He tries to run to the car, but is held back by one of the henchmen.

Mycroft and Lestrade try to run to the car as well, but Mycroft is thrown onto the ground and Lestrade is punched in the stomach.

Mycroft gets up off the ground and helps Lestrade to stay up. They all manage to calm themselves long enough for Mycroft to speak.

"Okay, you have John, we understand. What do you want?"

"You know what I want, my dear. If you want to see Johnny boy again, you'll get me that phone back!"

"What kind of phone was it?"

"A blackberry."

"You've got a deal." Mycroft is met with glaring looks from the guys.

"Very well. Meet me in the desert, first thing in the morning."

"I hope you realize how utterly ridiculous it is for you to abduct a friend of ours over a mobile phone."

The man walks toward his car, uninterested in taking the conversation further.

"You know where to find me, gentlemen."

The three men all wait until the car is out of sight, then they run into what's left of their car. With their minds now in a panic about John's safety with this unidentified criminal, they speed back to the hotel.


	11. The Phone

They make it back to the hotel in record time. All three frantically search the room. Sherlock tosses everything out of the cabinets, Lestrade looks in the bathroom, and Mycroft checks the closets and the sofa cushions.

Although they didn't want to, eventually they had to admit defeat. They all gather near the couches and Lestrade sighs.

"Guys, I can't find it anywhere."

Sherlock throws a mug off the counter in frustration.

"There has to be something I'm missing. There just has to be!"

"What are you going on about, Sherlock?" Mycroft asks.

"I once told myself that if I need to remember something important, to mark it down somehow."

He thinks for a little while longer. After a while, he gets the idea to take out his phone.

He searches his phone for a little while before he reaches the recordings. He hits play on the most recent one and listens.

_"Hey John, listen to this!"_

_ "What are you doing now, Sherlock? Why have you got that mobile?"_

_ "Okay, if you're listening to this recording, one of us might be dead. This mobile that I stole holds the key all of the world's secrets! Mycroft and Lestrade are dull and aren't interested in it, but I know the truth!"_

Sherlock chuckles slightly at the randomness of the recording, but continues to listen.

_"This mobile must be hidden from people like Mycroft who work for the government and will use it to destroy the world! Hey, Mycroft, get away from me!"_

_ "Give me the mobile Sherlock!"_

_ "Never! I'll have to hide it. Okay, if you're still listening, it's taped underneath one of the barstools."_

Sherlock ends the recording and marches over to the bar; he looks under every seat until he eventually pulls out the blackberry from underneath the seat farthest from him.

He turns to the other two men and smiles proudly.

"Even in a drunken state, I am still the cleverest person I know."

Mycroft scoffs at this.

"Even if that cleverness is masked behind meaningless ramblings."

Sherlock rolls his eyes and struts over to his bedroom. The other men follow his example. There was nothing left to do now besides wait until morning.

They barely got any sleep. They knew that they needed it, but the anticipation of the morning kept them awake for the most part.

While driving there, all they could talk about was how much they were going to tell John about their adventures. Of course, they were also going to make sure he was alright. After all, he had been kidnapped by some lunatic.

The further they drove into the desert, the more nervous they got. They didn't know if this man was serious about giving John back, or if he intended to kill him.

After a while, they saw the man's SUV. They were already waiting outside. John was still inside the car.

As they pulled up, they were unsure of whether or not to get out of the car right away, that changed when the man motioned for them to get out.

Sherlock's door worked just fine, so he was able to simply open his door and walk out. Mycroft's door was stuck, so him and Lestrade were forced to climb out of the window.

Mycroft managed just fine, but Lestrade lost his balance and got his foot caught on the car, causing him to fall face first into the ground. He was met with laughter from the man and his henchmen.

Mycroft helped Lestrade up and the three men walked forward and stopped a considerable distance before the man. Sherlock stares at him and speaks up first.

"Okay, we have your phone. Give us John."

"Not so fast, Sherlock. You give me the phone first, then I give you John."

Mycroft cuts in.

"Excuse me, sir. We never got your name."

"Moriarty. Jim Moriarty."

"Well Mr. Moriarty. We would greatly appreciate if you would allow us to see John in order to verify that he is okay. I think that sounds like a fair deal, don't you think?"

Moriarty takes his sunglasses off and stares directly at Mycroft.

"That sounds like a fair deal to me."

He points to the car and looks at one of his henchmen. The man opens the car door and pulls out another man, his hands bound behind his back and a bag covering his head. To Sherlock, something wasn't right, but he stayed silent.

"I think you boys can see that he is perfectly fine. Now give me my phone, or I'll kill him and then I'll kill all of you. Your choice."

Mycroft tosses over the phone without hesitation. Moriarty catches it and verifies that it is his phone before speaking to the man holding John.

"Okay, you can let him go."

The man roughly brings John over to the three men and they prepare themselves to see their friend again.

However, their dreams are sent crashing down when the man removes the bag from John's head and the man underneath the bag was not John. This causes Sherlock to yell at Moriarty louder than expected.

"You're joking, right? Who the hell is this guy?"

Mycroft also speaks up.

"That's not our friend!"

"Yes it is boys, I was with you, remember?"

The henchman removes the tape covering the man's mouth and he screams in pain and turns to Moriarty.

"I told you I wasn't the guy you were looking for!" He then turns to Lestrade. "That's the last time I trust you, Greg!"

"Lestrade, you know this guy?" Sherlock asks.

Lestrade thinks for a moment before speaking up.

"Oh yeah, I bought the pills from this guy!"

Mycroft's jaw drops.

"This is the guy who you bought the drugs from?"

"Who cares?" Sherlock says loudly, then turning to Moriarty. "Where is John?"

The man speaks up.

"I am John!"

"You're name is John too?" Lestrade says. "That's actually quite funny. Don't you guys think so?"

Sherlock and Mycroft give him a dirty look before Sherlock turns back toward Moriarty once more.

"You gave us the wrong person!"

Moriarty yawns and motions for his henchmen to get into the car, he follows shortly after.

"Sorry boys, but that's not my concern."

Moriarty drives away, leaving the men with no John, a stranger, and more wasted time. Sherlock curses into the air and slams his fist onto the hood of the car.

After Sherlock calms down, he completely gives in to what he has to do. He excuses himself from the guys in order to make a long distance call.

At the car, 'John' walks over to Mycroft and leans on the car to talk to him.

"Thanks for the ride back."

Mycroft turns to him with his arms crossed.

"How did you wind up with Moriarty?"

"The maniac kidnapped me last night. We were all hanging out at the casino and he thought I was with you guys."

"We were?"

"Yeah, you don't remember?"

"No, I'm afraid not, because this imbecile decided it was a smart idea to put roofies in our drinks last night."

"Hey, I thought selling him the drugs would show him a good time."

"You're not very smart, are you?"

"Whatever. Why do you think they call them roofies anyway? I mean, you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof."

Mycroft rolled his eyes, but after a while, looked up in realization. He shouted to Sherlock, but he waved him away. Mycroft did the only thing he thought appropriate.

"Sarah, I'm really sorry."

Sherlock didn't have time to finish his sentence, as he was tackled to the ground by Mycroft. Sherlock rolled on the floor in pain, while Mycroft grabbed the phone.

"Sarah?"

"Mycroft, what's going on?"

"Don't worry about it, Sherlock is just trying to mess with you. I was trying to convince him not to, but you know how he is."

"Where's John?"

"Paying, we're leaving right after he checks us out. Sorry, but we've got to get our luggage together."

He hangs up before Sarah has a chance to respond. Sherlock and Mycroft both stand up, but Sherlock roughly pushes Mycroft as revenge.

"What the hell was that for?" Sherlock asks.

"Get in the car! I know where John is!"


	12. The Rescue

Mycroft drives while Sherlock sits in the front. Sherlock stays silent for a little while, but his curiosity gets the better of him.

"How do you know where John is?"

"Do you remember when you got out of the car to ask that gentleman about the mattress?"

"Yeah, he said someone threw it out the window."

"He was wrong! The window in our room didn't open!"

Sherlock took a moment to realize what he meant, but dropped his jaw and smacked himself in the head for not realizing sooner.

"Of course! How on Earth could we have missed that?"

"It's understandable; we were in a worse state yesterday morning."

Lestrade followed from the backseat, but could not figure out what they were talking about.

"Uh, guys, I'm not quite sure what you mean. Where's John?"

"He's on the rooftop, Lestrade!" Sherlock said, without turning around.

Lestrade leaned back in realization; he also was upset that he didn't figure it out. Mycroft speaks up again.

"John must have been trying to signal someone."

"How did you figure that out?" Sherlock asks.

"Drug dealer John helped me out."

John rolls his eyes in the back, but doesn't say a word.

"Why did we put him up there anyway?"

Sherlock giggles and answers him.

"I have a feeling it was my idea, probably as a joke, or maybe an experiment. Do you think he's still there?"

"He has to be. Call the airport and order four tickets to London. Hopefully they're not booked."

The rest of the trip back to the hotel is Sherlock talking to the airport and booking the flight.

Luckily for them, they had seats available. Their flight was scheduled to leave in a few hours, so they rushed back to the hotel.

When they arrived, they wasted no time running to the rooftop and screaming John's name. Sherlock was the first to burst through the door that led up to the rooftop and clearly the one yelling his name the loudest.

They all split in different directions to look. Eventually, Mycroft turned a corner and discovered John sitting against a wall.

"Sherlock, Gregory, I found him! Come quickly!"

Lestrade immediately runs over and Sherlock breathes a huge sigh of relief before he runs over to John.

Mycroft crouches down and wakes John up to see how sun burned he is and helps him to his feet. His voice is shaking slightly as he speaks.

"What's going on? Where am I?"

Mycroft and Lestrade help him to stay up while Sherlock stands in front of him and looks him over.

"John, are you alright?"

"No, not really. Uh, I'm getting married tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, John, which is why we need to get to the airport as soon as possible, because right now you're wasting some time."

John stands up straighter and looks at his surroundings, then at Sherlock. Sherlock can see John getting angrier and before he can react, John run towards him.

"You bloody idiot!"

John tackles Sherlock to the ground, but rolls off of him after his skin starts to sting from the sunburn. Lestrade tries to calm John down, but John slaps his hand away and calms himself.

A little while later, Sherlock is rolling John out of the hotel on a wheelchair while Mycroft and Lestrade pack a taxi with their luggage.

While John was settling down, Mycroft called the insurance company about the car and promised to pay for all of it.

While Mycroft packs his luggage in the taxi, he looks over to the side and sees Alicia waving at him.

"Gentlemen, if you would excuse me for just a moment."

Sherlock watched him walk away and yelled after him.

"We're not waiting for long!"

Mycroft sits on the bench next to her and says hello.

"Alicia, you are a very nice young lady, but…"

Alicia cuts him off before he can finish.

"Don't worry about it, Mycroft. I went back to the chapel today and got the marriage annulled. He said that because you had went in before to get one, he would let me sign for it. You mentioned while we were getting married that you were afraid of this going public. I promise I won't mention it to anyone."

Mycroft sighed with relief, but smiled at her and gave her a small hug.

"Don't let anyone tell you that you can't make it in this world. With someone as sweet as you, you'll go far." Mycroft thought for a little while longer but before he had the chance to speak up again, Sherlock came over and interrupted.

"So sorry to break this up, but I am in need of my brother right now."

Sherlock grabs Mycroft's arm and drags him to the taxi, barely leaving Mycroft enough time to say goodbye.

Mycroft is led to the taxi and he climbs inside, Sherlock closes the trunk with the last of the luggage inside and all four men squeeze in the back.

Although they are in a rush, they behave normally at the airport. They didn't feel like having to explain anything to airport security.

The trip was boring and uneventful, but once they landed, they sprung right into action.


End file.
